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NotMyBest2Day
07-03-06, 12:35 PM
They Walk Among Us: Otherwise known as :"Heeere's yer sign"

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution ... They Walk Among Us
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us!
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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . . . . .They Walk Among Us!
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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . . . . . . . . They Walk Among Us!
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. . They Walk Among Us!
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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. . . They Walk Among Us!
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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. . . . . . . . They Walk Among Us!
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? " . . . . . . . They Walk Among Us!
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While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Yep, They Walk Among Us too.

They walk among us, and reproduce!

owen
07-03-06, 12:50 PM
hahaha quality!!!

They walk among us, and reproduce!

Now that is a scary thought.

Zefram
07-03-06, 01:23 PM
Good quality jokes are always welcomed!

I find similarities between this "They Walk Among Us" and "You're a redneck if...." jokes done by Jeff Foxworthy. Go figure!

Nataku
07-03-06, 02:49 PM
My older brother used to work at Barns and nobles. A lady walked up with two book and stated that she had a 20% off cupon, but wanted to make sure she would get 20% off of both books.

My brother explained "yes, you will get 20% off of your intire purchase". She replied "No! I'm supposed to get 20% off of each book"...

After taken a moment to asses the situation my brother replies "it's the same thing". "no it isn't" the lady replies.

He then explains to her that if her books are $10 a piece, then 20% off of $10 is 2 dollars. and that that when we put them together we have $20 in books, and that 20% of $20 is $4.

She replies "isn't that funny how that works out".

mr. dalek
07-03-06, 03:34 PM
http://www.mos95b.com/New/-Computers/0331.JPG

Nova
07-03-06, 04:38 PM
She replies "isn't that funny how that works out".

math is always funny, i said the same thing about parametric equations :p

yea theres some stupid people out here in this world. for example when i was 21 and moved to florida, on my way here i felt like buying some smokes. unfortunately i forgot my wallet, so the lady wouldnt sell them to me. i then went to my mom and asked her to buy them for me, the lady dint even give a damn about how old my mom was or any of that BS she wouldnt let them go until she saw my id. also the passport wasnt good enough for her, it had to be a drivers licence.

omga14
07-03-06, 09:13 PM
hmm...let's see a passport that will get you into any country as it is recognized as a valid form of ID can't get you smokes cause you don't have your drivers license? some people are just dumb.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? " . . . . . . . They Walk Among Us!

if you fly enough you'll see that this one isn't all that surprising.

NotMyBest2Day
07-03-06, 09:53 PM
Well the Driver's License thing is valid though. West Virginia has been doing it for a while, and some places in South Carolina started doing it where they swipe your license like a credit card and it pulls the info off the magnetic strip. It's "easy" to make the picture and the birthdate and all counterfeit, but it's nearly impossible to figure out the encryption key for the magnetic strip.

Zefram
07-04-06, 11:56 AM
yea theres some stupid people out here in this world. for example when i was 21 and moved to florida, on my way here i felt like buying some smokes. unfortunately i forgot my wallet, so the lady wouldnt sell them to me.
LOL, that reminds me of the moment when i went to the 7-eleven near my house, i saw a kid buying pack of marlboro cigarette (legal age to smoke is 18 here) and i promptly ask the cashier "Wouldn't it be illegal to sell cigarette to ppl under 18?"
The cashier reply "Yeah, that kid was buying for his father......... " and pointed out the store........
And guess what - His father was a cop and he was waiting inside his police car.

No wonder kid smoke nowadays. They were trained to do so :p

yahooadam
07-04-06, 12:37 PM
lol - their all good, though the time zone one was particularly good imo :)

mr. dalek
07-05-06, 09:42 AM
once i whent down the street with my little black box of tools to help a little old lady and her husband fix there brand new 52inch dlp hd projection tv (WTF yes thats true they bought it at a auction for 200 or 300 dollars) so i go down there and i program there remote cuase there both 70 sothing years old and remember a remote being a box with buttons and a little bird that flys out so i leave there house after seeing what yankee statium actually looks like from the sports channel on a hdtv and then im halfway home and a police car pulls over and trys to arrest me for carrying a weapon some idiot had called the cops becuase they though i was carrying a gun in a little box marked TOOLS! the 2 officers combined brain power (equvalint to a school bus driver) detirmend i was not a threat but not before backup arrived (MFERS!) a second patrol car showed up this time a deptment offical came out the first thing he said MAN THIS CAR SUCKS. WTF is wrong with these people!